language means everything

dancer/stripper
war on terror/ war on middle east
remove/exterminate or fire
receptionist/secretary
server/waitress

I’m often times annoyed at how much other people’s comments actually get stuck in my brain for awhile. Not just lingering for a minute, but festering until a million cigarette time bombs go off.  I realize the NA group is much like a cult and it annoys me that most of it is ‘ra ra NA’ but what if I’m not a cheerleader? What if I just want to be clean with that bunch of people in the meeting. What if I don’t want to say the prayer at the end or agree to being ‘powerless.’ Isn’t that a little reliant on religion of the program… I am my own person and I don’t think being powerless really helps anyone in the long run. IT’s just what we want to hear so we can justify our actions.

Nic stayed at my house last night. He thinks the NA thing is bullshit. He doesn’t have to tell me, but I Feel it in the snide smiles as I bring up a ‘home group’ lingo that no one else knows except members of NA. ‘members’ or addicts.  Language changes everything.

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