For Myself

I haven’t written here in a long time, probably because I have nothing important to say. I haven’t written any literary masterpiece or article or anything even worth editing.   I am writing in here today for myself in hopes I can turn things around again for the better.

Okay, you need a plan to get you through this week. It’s depressing. You want dope, but you’ve gotten off that for 9 months so don’t keep fucking up now with this couple times a week shit. It’s not worth it. I feel incredibly guilty afterward (as I should) So what if I’m nervous or if I’ve had a crummy past or if I just want my life to be great ALL THE TIME. it’s not reality.

Today is Sunday.  Praise Jesus! Today I don’t have to feel guilty for not doing yoga. Today I can lay in bed and listen to Savage Love and eat cereal. Today I will do laundry, play cards, and relax. I need to CALL MICHAEL about getting tickets to the play Hysteria.  Maybe hang out with Antonio. I need to drink a lot of  cranberry juice. I have a feeling eating healthy and drinking healthy will help me on my placement test on Tuesday.

Monday I will take the subway up to center city and time it. That way I will know exactly how long it will take to get to CCP from my house. I will browse barnes and noble, maybe look for some clothes.  I need to email Dad a birthday card. Of course I’ll need to drink cranberry juice and eat fruit.

Tuesday at twelve thirty I go to CCP for my placement test.  Also go to the meeting at 9th and Federal across from Pats and Genos. It’s at six thirty.

Wednesday is health day. Physically,  I will food shop, do yoga, take a walk.  Mentally I will read, listening to This American Life, read the NYT.  Play Chess, hang out with Beth.

Thursday evening I will go to 22nd and Market and talk to the Library people. Get the forms to fill out so I can work there, and get a feel for the place.

That’s all you need to think about until Thursday when you can plan other things out. Just don’t worry about anything else. You need a theme song for this week to take your mind off the job and school…………Stayin Alive. Bee Gees.

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