Today was hell. I figured I should write it down before I either explode in silence, or pass out from exhaustion. From six a.m. to two p.m. I started feeling the symptoms.
Cold sweats. Hot flashes. Aches. Vomiting. Depression. Coughing. Dizziness. Exhaustion. Confusion. And just an overall unpleasant feeling.
From two p.m. I staggered out of bed naked from last night. I desperately wanted to use the bathroom but to my luck, our pipes broke and the toilets don’t work. I grabbed a thin bathrobe and made it to the shower. My first success. About twenty minutes later I hobbled back to my room to try and turn on the space heater, but it sparked off (which means I have to unplug it and wait for a half hour to turn it back on.)
So then I cried for a little while. (The space heater was a big upset as you can see) I tried sleeping but dreams consisted of a whore house with flashing lights leading to mine and a friend’s arrest for using dope. After that I didn’t really feel tired.
Upstairs to Joe’s room it was. This was the second success. I couldn’t find the hair brush under all the filth in our room so I just left it wet and tangled. I listened to MFDoom and Michael Jackson records with Matthew and Joe and Joe’s new girlfriend. I smiled when Matthew started dancing to ‘PYT’. That was my third success.
Someone asked me why I was so sick. I told Matthew what was going on and he was really really supportive. He wasn’t upset at all and it felt so good to have people that knew and were really genuinely concerned let me hang out with them. That was my fourth success.
Then. Came the unimaginable. Matthew suggested we go out for pizza. The weather must have been negative with wind and I was already cold, but I knew I had to get out or I would start feeling worse. After about an hour of procrastinating and listening to more records, we left the house. It was bitter frozen. The winds were hitting the alleys like boxers. Mad boxers. Maybe as mad as Mike Tyson himself.
At a slow group pace, we gradually defeated Mike Tyson one step at at a time and made it to 7th and Carpenter. I bought a a big pizza for everyone and ate about half a slice before throwing up. We talked about the stupid news that was on the pizza parlor tv. I laughed when we all made fun of the chickens that were ‘running ramped in a PA middle school.’ That was the fifth success.
We ate and talked for a long time. I got to use the bathroom at the pizza place. Sixth success. I bought something to drink and as Matthew and the gang went to the library, I made it home with out any lurking pedestrians asking me if ‘I was good?’ Seventh Success.
I was approaching the stoop when a terrible thought crossed my mind. What if the door is locked. Now, I did have my keys around my neck, but I am a frequent worrier and one of my problems is opening locked doors. Sure enough the door was locked. It must have been a test of God. I finally found the latch to my necklace (were my keys safely rest) and with frigid fingers got the keys to miraculously fit in the door. Eighth Success!!
With an adventure accomplished and a small amount of food still in me, I went upstairs and lied down to watch cartoons for an hour. I went back downstairs to socialize with the roommates and watch a movie later on tonight. Ninth success.
So far, it’s eight thirty p.m. The vomiting has subsided and although there is no toilet, I think I can wait until tomorrow.
Today is the first day.
Tomorrow is the last day.
Wednesday is a break day with two lines.
Thursday is the first day again.
Friday is the last day.
Saturday is break day with two more lines.
Sunday is the first day.
Monday is the toughest day.
Tuesday is the last day.
Wednesday is sanity again with two lines.
I can do it. Today was a success. Tomorrow comes later.
Two days ago was the start. This was the look of things.