Stripped. Into the shower with the fluffy white tissue sponge that reminds me of a flower. Organic soap. Baby shampoo- not used. I turned one of the knobs in the wrong direction and couldn’t figure out which knob was the hot and which one made it colder. Low spray until someone flushed a toilet. Is fifteen minutes too long for a shower? I thought about twenty, I tried about ten.
The window facing the shower was steamed up so no one could see (or at least I hoped it that way.) As usual, just as I finish hooking my bra, someone barges in. I scream. It’s Stephanie.
oh wait.no.it’s okay,I didn’t know it was you.
Lipstick is pressed onto my face. I should really remove my makeup at night. Acne never felt so painful.
She giggles, says it’s fine and closes the door on her way out.
wait.come back.I miss you and I didn’t even know you.
I can hear her loud laughter and playful screaming at Eric from the next room. “You would PUNCH your girlfriend?” The way she says it makes it seem like ‘gurrlfriend’ instead. I smile hearing them laugh as the wall is bounced against. I knock anyway. My excuse is to let Stephanie know I’m out of the shower. No answer.
The flowers I bought Nic didn’t last too long. There was a show in the basement and one rose fell out of the vase and seemed limply on it’s way into death. I hung it upside down to dry on Niccolo’s ceiling pipe. Today it was on the ground. The greenery was still hung on the pipe, the rose had fallen plump to the floor. I picked the petals off and scattered them over his carpet. I feel a little like Mrs. Bridge today. Desperately trying in insignificant ways and knowingly putting myself in ignorable situations.
I didn’t knock loud enough when I was locked out of the house this morning. Maybe I should have knocked louder on eric’s door. onemayneverknow hiding out in the basement garden.