Archive for philly

in order

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on November 24, 2008 by staticity

The room was humid and damp with the fresh afternoon scent of hoagies and mashed out cigarettes. I was sitting on the mattress, trying to fluff up the blanket so it looked somewhat made up. No energy in the city sun. Roommates were flopped on the blue velvet sofas waiting for the inevitable jingle of the ice cream man. No more spare change.

I was trying to be quiet, so I wouldn’t have to face my roommates with cold sweats and groggy irritation.  Niccolo popped a cd into the dvd player anyway. It was venezuelan and humming with background insturments and a chorus that seemed to progress louder and louder until we couldn’t ignore it anymore. What was this?

We must have been thinking the same thing because at exactly the same moment we started singing. Quietly to ourselves at first – but then we started in louder. As loud as the music. As loud as we could. We were actually singing and didn’t even care that the rest of the house and maybe the house next door could hear us.

‘Mama I ain’t well.’  Track 4.

I want to go back, but not there. I just want the ice cream truck and the public fountains and my Niccolo.
Today is a very neat day. Everything is in order. Dishes are put away, table tops are dusted and squirted with lemon, sheets are washed.  I need some ice cream and a celebration.

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been around the block

Posted in adventure, life, philly, relationships with tags , , , , , on July 9, 2008 by staticity

The block parties are still going on from yesterday. Police caution-tape sticks to both sides of our block as kids ride by on their bicycles and grandmothers listen to rap out on their stoop. The teenagers like to ride with their girlfriends on the handle bars of the bike as they speed through the dirty streets at night. It’s a large community of folks who have known each other for so long, if they’re not family, they might as well be.

Today we heard the crazy crack head next door might not be as crazy as we thought. For an entire year she has been knocking on our door, telling us there are people outside our courtyard during the night. We figured it was the crack. Matt came in to my room today however, and said he heard there really were people who would climb through our courtyard so they could have sex in ‘Miss Patty’s’ courtyard. Apparently the woman is cheating on her husband. A few nights ago I heard people near our courtyard (the courtyard is in back of my room) and son of a bitch, she might be right. So Matt rigged a boobie trap for the couple if they come trampling through our yard again, we’ll know.

Recently I bought the magazine ‘cosmo’ just for kicks. I was skimming through it in the shower with jess (that’s usually the time we can gossip) when I found myself more disappointed. Has Cosmo become tame or has it always been on the conservative side? It disguises itself with racy issues about ‘what men really want in bed’ and sex moves etc. but when you actually get right down to it, it’s mostly about how to please your man. How to do your hair the way most men like it. What kinds of food guys like. How to treat your guy like a king. How to be a good decorator. How to talk to his mom. Yada yada yada. I remember the thrills of reading it with katie in high school. We were among the few who had sex in 9th grade and that allowed us to go lingerie shopping and buy cosmo’s to read in public. Unfortunately, I’m starting to notice that the articles never change and the secrets that guys want in bed, is all the same. Which is sadly, nothing you can read in a magazine.

Ladytron

Posted in adventure, interactions, life, philly with tags , , , , on July 4, 2008 by staticity

I went to a Ladytron show the other night. “Don’t dress up.” I was told by the queen of Philadelphia outtings…. It was at the TLA so I figured, eh…south street… who knows.

We walked in with our jeans hanging off our ass and tight shirts only to find data rock jumping around on stage. The drinks were way over priced so we watched A bunch of high school kids in front of us   jumping along with the music. Data rock was okay but their show was kind of long so they had to keep reminding people of Ladytron by telling us they were playing. Everytime they mentioned Ladytron the crowd would get enthusiastic because we all thought it was datarock’s last song. denada.

Ladytron finally came on after a long set of d.j. songs and waiting in the dim light with a bunch of people dressed up in either goth clothes or short dresses. I started to feel out of place. The two girl singers in the group looked like they had taken the H train to get there. Their eyes were all dim and the expressions were lifeless. we figured heroin, who knows if anyone else thought so. They played a good set, but we couldn’t really hear their voices too well over the booming electronica that fuzzed out the speakers.

Dave and I cut out a couple songs early. Jess took her friend to the subway station so he could get home and my partner in crime was off finding water ice or something. We sat on the stoop waiting and watching as a crowd of sixteen year olds (most likely) stumbled out the doors ass drunk. They fell over each other and had to sit down on the curb to wait for a cab. Probably the most adventurous night they’ve ever had. who knows….

language means everything

Posted in Philadelphia, values with tags , , , on June 23, 2008 by staticity

dancer/stripper
war on terror/ war on middle east
remove/exterminate or fire
receptionist/secretary
server/waitress

I’m often times annoyed at how much other people’s comments actually get stuck in my brain for awhile. Not just lingering for a minute, but festering until a million cigarette time bombs go off.  I realize the NA group is much like a cult and it annoys me that most of it is ‘ra ra NA’ but what if I’m not a cheerleader? What if I just want to be clean with that bunch of people in the meeting. What if I don’t want to say the prayer at the end or agree to being ‘powerless.’ Isn’t that a little reliant on religion of the program… I am my own person and I don’t think being powerless really helps anyone in the long run. IT’s just what we want to hear so we can justify our actions.

Nic stayed at my house last night. He thinks the NA thing is bullshit. He doesn’t have to tell me, but I Feel it in the snide smiles as I bring up a ‘home group’ lingo that no one else knows except members of NA. ‘members’ or addicts.  Language changes everything.

mirror

Posted in adventure, insanity, life, philly with tags , , , on June 22, 2008 by staticity

I took this in the bathroom at a coffee house on thirteenth…thought it was interesting.

Too Cool To Dance

Posted in adventure, friends, interactions, Philadelphia, philly, pop culture with tags , , , , on March 11, 2008 by staticity

phonecity.jpg

under water

Posted in grunge, holidays, insanity, life, Philadelphia, philly with tags , , , , , on February 14, 2008 by staticity

Dear God I just don’t know if I can do it.  I woke up dreaming about a house in the forest with a few other large houses next to it. There were a lot of glass windows and sliders. I was walking around the woods one afternoon when a group of prisoners took me away. I was headed for jail but we were sentenced by guards to cross the mountain.  Coyotes. Guns. Rape. It was terrible and so real. Nic was looking for me, I could tell, but I didn’t know where to find him. The prisoners and I ended up in a big house somewhere remote where a prison guard pulled a giant switch on one of the walls. The entire house was plunged under water.  Somehow I got out and started running back to the house with glass windows.  Days and days later I made it.

The last part of the dream was me looking out the sliding door at night and waiting. I knew they would find me and bring me back, but I had no other place to go and I didn’t want to leave anyway.

I can’t stop crying. This is terrible. It’s valentines day and I want to call my mom, but I know if I do, I’ll end up telling her everything and she’ll get worried and I just wanted so bad to be alright. I wanted to move to Philly and prove that I could hold my own.  I hate myself. I hate every part of me.  I hate my hair. I hate my shoulders. I hate my brain.  I hate everythig. every goddamn last thing.  I don’t think things are going to get better. I thought about ending it. I always fuck that up too. I thought about going home.  I fuck that up too.  There’s nothing left. nothing except a house underwater.

No, Rebecca. Remember the first day was worse.  It was colder. You were sicker. There was less to eat. Now you’ve got to get up. Put on your makeup. Brush your hair. Clean yourself up. I know no  one is home now, and it may feel like you’ve lost your support group, but this is the time to prove that you can be alright.  It’s valentines day. You’re going to make it.

I hope so.

I know so.